Thursday, September 16, 2010


‎"The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is." - Winston Churchill

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My OB Experience

Early in my pregnancy with Trey I had been seeing an OB. I had been looking for a new one before finding out I was prego. I had decided to have a consult with a friend’s OB which happened to be after I was expecting my period. I went to the consult and the OB was nice enough and I had told her we were trying to get prego and that my period was late. She asked if I wanted to take a test and I said no. In the back of my mind I think I already knew I was prego, and I didn’t want to call David and tell him over the phone. So 2 days later I took a test and it was positive. So I called the OB’s office and got started on my doctor visits.

This was during the fall and so flu season was kicking in. I think I might have had the flu once in my life and it was as a child and as I recall not that bad (for being sick that is). I’ve never gotten a flu shot, since I don’t get sick that often and I don’t get the flu and I don’t like shots I’ve never seen the need. I especially don’t see the need for a shot when I could still get it. So when the OB mentioned at my second appointment that I should get a flu shot I was nervous. I wanted to think about it and did the whole next month. I wasn’t comfortable with it; I didn’t like the idea of my baby getting the vaccine either. But I was torn, because the OB had played the “if your baby gets sick….” card.

So we went to the next appointment still undecided about the shot, when I told the nurse I wasn’t sure she told the OB and the OB came in and started “selling” the shot to me. I was so torn, I wanted what was best for my baby, but wasn’t sure this shot was necessary. She made me feel like I wasn’t being a good mama by refusing the shot. So, I got it.

Afterwards I wasn’t convinced I’d done the right thing. I think it was at that point I started looking for other birthing options. I thought that if the OB was going to badger me into a flu shot now, what would she do when it was time to birth? I was already having anxiety about being in the hospital. I hate hospitals, that’s where my loved ones got to die or have something terrible fixed. I hated the way they smelled and didn’t like the idea of being stuck in a bed with things hooked to me.

So, I figured I needed to look at a birthing center. I started doing my research and didn’t find any in my area, so then I thought “well, what about home birth?” You see my mom had had one of my sisters at home (the baby), and my other 2 sisters in a birthing center and had tried to have me at one too (I was the first and her labor stalled so she went to the hospital). So home birth wasn’t foreign to me. The more I thought about that option the more I loved it. I liked the idea that no one was going to tell me what to do or how to do it, that I was going to birth the way God designed it. It was at that point that I knew I was trading pain meds for a better environment, and the more I thought about it the more I was comfortable with it.

So after showing David my research on the safety of home birth and how the experience would be much more pleasant and that he could even catch the baby if he wanted (he did want to) we made an appointment to visit with the midwives. I was convinced immediately. They had already heard stories from other clients about my OB, and they weren’t good. I liked their laid back attitude about birth. Birth was a normal thing to them and they treated it as such. They were going to let me do what my body wanted me to do and offer suggestions along the way.

David and I talked afterward and decided to switch over to the midwives. He wasn’t very pleased with the OB. He watched as she bullied me into the flu shot and didn’t like her attitude about it. She was night and day from the midwives. The OB had the attitude that she knew everything and that I need to just sit back and let her make the decisions. I was an ignorant first time mom who didn’t know what it was really like. She would give me the illusion of making the decision but in the end it would be hers.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed with the OB? I have no doubt I still would have had a c-section. You see my friend who recommended her had already had 2 c-sections with her. I would have been induced and this would have caused a cascade of interventions, the pitocin would have made the epidural necessary and that would have put me stuck in a bed. All things I didn’t want. But with all those medications going through Trey what kind of long term damage would have been done to him? I know that the outcome would have been the same but the journey to get there would have been much more traumatic.

Several months after Trey was born we had a family friend (she’s a nurse) basically tell us that we should have been in the hospital. She wasn’t saying it outright but was telling us that we made the wrong decisions. I have no doubt in my mind that we made the right decision to use the midwives and attempt birthing at home. I’ve done lots of research since and constantly comb over the details of Trey’s birth and I don’t regret our decisions. None of them. We did what was best for us in every situation. While it definitely wasn’t what we had planned on, or hoped for, we have peace about his birth. For some reason his birth was supposed to be this way. Maybe to make my next birth experiences better, maybe to help other women trust their instincts and to help educate them. I hope that my story makes someone else’s story better.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Why I blog

I’m sure that there are tons of different reasons why people start blogs and continue to blog. I have a couple reasons myself. First, I was very hesitant to start a blog. When David first mentioned it to me I think I said something like “what would I write about?”. It took a long time before I started warming up to the idea of “going public”. But after doing lots of research on birth, and all things related I started feeling like I finally had something to say. I wanted a place to be able to put some of that info so I could reference it again when I wanted it. But that wasn’t my main reason. I wanted to be able to put info out there where others could get to it, but also a place I could challenge people’s thinking.

I’m starting to realize more and more that the majority of people make decisions based off of what those around them have either already done or what their community says they should do. The minority of people think twice about what others tell them and research for themselves. I think that we should all strive to challenge our own beliefs on everything and see if that’s how we really feel or if it’s just what everyone else is doing.

That’s what I want this blog to be about. I want to challenge your thinking on subjects. I want you to think about your view or opinion on a subject and make sure you have thoroughly thought it through. Changing your mind is not my goal. It’s showing you a different perspective or new info so you can be sure of your stance on the subject.

I love to read other’s blogs and be challenged in my thinking. I want someone to challenge it, because it forces me to look at why I think the way I think or believe the way I believe. Sometimes I change my mind sometimes I don’t. We need to constantly be growing and learning in life. At least that’s one of my goals. You become stagnant in life when you stop learning, and I definitely want to have a life fully alive.

Has there been anything recently that has challenged your thinking on a subject? What was it? Please share!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Our Story of Co-Sleeping

Before getting pregnant I had definite opinions about babies sleeping in our bed, I was against it. I couldn’t imagine letting our children come between David and I. We had been married for 9 years before getting prego, so it’d just been the 2 of us for a long time. We had no idea what it was like to have a child of our own, so we thought they would need their own space and not in our intimate space. After finally getting prego we talked about where the baby would sleep for the first couple of months. You see David had a sister who died of SIDS, so this left a fear in him. He didn’t like the idea of the baby being so far away in its own room and bed. So we agreed to a bassinette at the end of our bed and for about 3 months, then to his own bed after that.

So then I’m in labor expecting to have a home birth and after 2 ½ days of labor we transfer to the hospital for an emergency c-section. When I was finally awake again (I was under a general) and in my room after a very long labor, I was finally holding my long awaited baby boy Trey. That night when I was ready to go to sleep I knew I wasn’t going to put him in that plastic box to sleep. He was going to sleep in my arms, I wasn’t about to let him be away from me.

When we got home I didn’t like the idea of him sleeping by himself where I couldn’t touch him. So we put him in bed with us and we liked it. It gave us peace of mind to have him near. I also realized that having him in bed with us made it easier to breastfeed. And because I didn’t have to get out of bed to nurse, I could go back to sleep really easily.

We told our pediatrician we were co-sleeping, while she didn’t say anything against it she did tell us that we should aim to have him in his own bed by 6months because after that it would be harder to get him to sleep in his own bed. So from about 3-6 months I stressed about the day we’d have to put him in his own bed. I was doing what felt right and comfortable and was working for our family but this expert was saying to move him out by 6mo. So around 5mo we tried to put him in his own bed. He fell asleep in my arms and then I put him down. He slept for a few hours till he woke up wanting to eat but he didn’t want to go to sleep in his bed. So I put him back in our bed because we both needed to go to sleep.

I talked to David about it and he said that if this worked for us and we all loved it then it was ok for him to sleep with us past 6 mos. It made me feel better because he was saying exactly how I felt. (I’ve since learned to listen to my intuition more.) So, here we are at over 2 years old and still co-sleeping and we absolutely love it! It’s one of our favorite things to do as a family. It’s great on days we don’t feel like we’ve seen Trey enough, or on those days when I want to cuddle him more. We don’t have any plans on moving him out; I think we’ve just figured that when he’s ready to have a bed of his own we’ll move him out. We are working on baby #2 and we plan to not only co-sleep with the baby but keep sleeping with Trey as well. Our time with our children, while they are little, goes by so fast and this is just one way we fully enjoy them.
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